Art has driven me all my life. As a shy withdrawn child, I would dream of being an artist, even sent in the matchbook cover thing, and sadly could never follow through. I did however keep the dream and it has taken me many years to actually be able to stand up straight and tall and proclaim myself An Artist!
I then found out that I was the only one who didn't know it, that I had been living the life of an artist in spite of myself! Creativity drives me. Thought drives me.
I keep looking towards the destination only to realize I am already there.
There, for right now, is a new loft, in a new artist community,with living and working space with lots of light and space a block from the beach in Downtown Ventura! I have been living in attics and basements and small rooms for most of the past 15 years and painting wherever I could. Four years ago I rented a studio (I chose nice studio over nice living space much to the dismay of my children and some friends) that enabled me to paint larger and more interesting work and put me in a creative environment with the 20 or so other artists who rented space there also. The result was an enormous growth spurt in my art and my art process!
I went from painting flowers, gardens and animals to painting a series on alcohol & addiction, a series on war (after the US went into Iraq) and then an emotional abstract series that has taken me on quite a journey for the past 2 years.
Now I have a huge (for me), beautiful studio space and I am wondering what to paint. I want, in my little girl heart, to do something amazing, something that will justify my being given this wonderful space. That little girl heart drives me.
I am aware that I am here. Just because I am who I am. I don't need to do anything amazing for anyone but me. The most amazing things have always happened when I let go and get in the zone and just let the paint, ideas and life flow.
Today I am allowing myself to flow.
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