Joy & Grace

I had lunch yesterday with an old friend. It was wonderful to catch up and he is doing very well, which pleased me. He has come up with a powerful prayer for grace which is enabling him to be a happy, productive, positve member of society. I am impressed and happy for him!

Mostly. There is a little bit of me that says, "He's happier than you, his life is working better than your's, he's going to get (whatever) and you'rs not." This dark side of me scares and horrifies me and I am told I need to embrace it, make friends with it, to make it dissipate.

So I sit here thinking of ways to turn these thoughts into something useful. If people are messengers from the Universe, then as we say in NY, "What's da message heeya"?

I do so many fun things as my business that sometimes I lose the fun of it while concentrating on the business of it. Life becomes bleak and sad; I am trying so hard to get somewhere, to win whatever race is hidden in my psyche, to be someone, that I forget I am somewhere and am someone and the joy is in the running not the winning.
(Although, honestly, I do love winning.)

I think the message is pray for grace and get into action. Pray for grace, paint my paintings, write and perform my plays, send out my ships (business letters and PR)and pray for grace. Then let got of the results and enjoy my life.